twelve thousand steps

i'm still doing 12000 steps per day.
but i've been ignoring the scale because i'm afraid that it will discourage me. :)

i want to keep going. having my pedometer to keep track is such a fun little way to get my exercise in, and it makes me conscious of being active - and gives me motivation to keep at it.

sometimes it seems overwhelming - especially when i've been slogging through the day and haven't gotten a lot of steps and suddenly it's dark out and i've got to ramble all over the city ...

but i'm always glad when i do it. i can go different routes - and i can break it up in big or small chunks - i can listen to music or sermons or just listen to the sounds of the city - i can walk with friends or my sisters or mom or my amazing and handsome husband (my fave!) ...

it's pretty fun. three cheers for my pedometer!

bathroom break

last thursday night i was at work, busily opening boxes and hanging/arranging clothes. i was listening to my ipod, waving at patrick every now and then (he'd been called in to cover another guy's shift, so we got to work together) ... just having an all round good night. (i love when i get to unpack an order - it's a lot of work, but it keeps my mind more engaged than when i'm just straightening and cleaning the department).

so it's a little while after break, and i realize i have to pee. i dash upstairs to the staff washroom, which really creeps me out. sometimes it seems like i can hear someone else in there, but i'm all alone. i blame it on the vents, but i have no idea.

i reach for the t.p. ... and there isn't any!! and i was totally alone - in spite of the freaky sounds - and i've never ever ever met anyone else in the bathroom. there are only 2 other girls on nightshift, and i had seen them both making bathroom trips before me.

thankfully, i had my phone (it's my ipod too - i don't randomly take my phone to the bathroom like a textaholic jr. high kid) and patrick's boss had called earlier in the day, so the store phone # was on my phone ...
eventually, i got patrick, and he came and rescued me.

my knight in shining toilet paper.

boo to pcos

pcos is kicking my butt.

inspired by my brother in law, i got a pedometer and have walked 12000 steps/day for a week. it's been fun, and i've felt pretty pumped that i'm probably doing something good for my body.

knowing my pcos-iness, i didn't want to hope that my week of walking made me lose weight ... but i at least hoped that i'd be able to maintain.

i freaking gained five pounds. ugh.

anyway, i'm going to keep walking. i've loved it, and it feels like a little victory every day when i see 12000 on my screen :). if you have any words of encouragement, send them my way. i need 'em.

abiding,

my cousin gwen recently blogged about john 15, where Jesus tells His followers that He is the vine, and we are the branches. He says that when we abide in Him, we will bear fruit.
this makes sense. if the branches break away from the vine, they have no root, no depth, and can't produce anything ... they're dead.

so it's the middle of the night, and i'm reading her blog. i worked all night yesterday and got sunburned all day today. so i'm hot and sleepy and not very bright. but her post made me think: how do we "abide in Him"? if i am a branch, how do i make sure i'm abiding in the vine?

so i opened up john 15 and there it was ... the answer to my middle-of-the-night deep thoughts.

Jesus says "abide in my love. if you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in His love [...] this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you." (john 15:9, 10, 12)

and, as a preacher i heard recently said, loving one another isn't having sweet feelings for one another. it's an active, doing-giving-caring sort of love. the old-school translators captured this feeling when they used the word charity to describe this kind of love. sacrificial doing. thinking about others.

so when we love each other ... charitably ... we're abiding in Him. so our relationships and actions with other people really really do count. kindness and consideration and service all help keep us thriving in spirit.

which is a pretty awesome way for things to be. to be productive sections of the vine, branches don't have to be deep thinkers (clearly ... zzz!), professionally religious, painfully good, intensely smart ...
it is simultaneously much bigger and much simpler than that: we need to love each other like Jesus loved us: actively, sacrificially, and obeying the Father.

marriage review

patrick keeps writing book reviews, so i decided to write a marriage review. the opinions below are inevitably biased, mushy, honest, and all mine.

summary:
overall, patrick is the most amazing husband ever. i can't think of anything better to wish for a couple than that they have a marriage like ours.
we got married four years ago and things have been getting better ever since. when we first started off, we thought it was spectacular. and it was.

things i don't like:

we did have some rough spots, getting used to each other (and getting to know each other! 6 months of long distance doesn't really make a couple instantly, flawlessly compatible). i had to learn that every action isn't loaded with significance. life isn't a short story, so i can't expect every moment to be hugely revelatory. sometimes we both do things out of character, or do things that don't express what we really feel. (we - i - had a few drama moments.)

about me: i can be too needy and dramatic. i don't like this about myself. i'm trying to laugh more and pose less. i think it's helping.
about patrick: he can withdraw and be distant, and he can give horrible compliments. um - this one isn't really something i don't like. well - it's hard to categorize. sometimes patrick says things that sound like shocking insults but were meant well. (i'm practicing forgiveness, so i won't record them.) luckily, i didn't hear the first one until after the knot was firmly tied, so we set sail on blissful seas. :)

(things i like)
mostly, we had some really big bonuses going for us.

we both love God, worship Jesus, and believe the Bible. so in the deepest core of our hearts, we're building on the same stuff. the same things are really important and beautiful to us, and we have the same basic blueprint for living. we want, above all, to bring glory to God. and that works out in the little things, which means putting each other first, and trying to forgive quickly.

also, we speak similar love languages. words of affirmation build both of us up, and make us feel especially loved more than anything else. also, i tend to speak the love language of acts of service - which, awesomely, turns out to be patrick's other love language. (when i'm overflowing with love for patrick, i do laundry, or clean up. then he's all like 'oooh, you love me!' and we both feel mushy. weird, but it works for us.)

as well, we love to read. we've read a lot of books on marriage and sex and intimacy, which have helped us to be aware that love needs to be made. (HAHA BEST freudian slip ever. i'm leaving it in.)
what i mean is, love doesn't just happen when two people who dig each other get married. we have to deliberately nurture it and plan it. like, if we want to wear clean clothes, we have to deliberately do the laundry. they don't just happen. and if we want to eat, we have to cook, and do dishes.
same with love. if i want a snuggly marriage, i've got to be a warm person that someone would want to snuggle with. if i want openness, i've got to be willing to be open too - scary as it may be! if i want patrick to feel adored and amazing (because he is), it isn't enough to just assume he'll know that i feel that way about him. i've got to show him and tell him.

on top of all that, we've got a lot of the same interests. we like to read, write, and talk. we love to cook together and have company (although i like any number of people, and patrick prefers small groups). we like lame youtube videos and quirky cartoons. we like long drives up the coast and serious conversations. we're pretty dorky and incredibly happy. we're as comfortable with each other as we are alone, so we never need to pretend to be someone we're not. this is a deep and awesome goodness.

rating:
the main characters are stellar and conflicts are resolved. i give this marriage 5/5 sunset drives to peggy's cove.

taboo

it's been so hot and sticky in kap this week that no one wants to do anything. in between naps and yummy meals, leanne & i raced through the deck of taboo cards, trying to see how many we could get right before the timer went off. (we would have just played the game properly, but no one wanted to play with us. after four years, our husbands no longer think the brownie points are worth it ...)

our average # of cards per timer = 5.
our maximum # of cards per timer = 8. we were shooting for 10, but just couldn't quite get it.

anyway, we still had a lot of fun. here are some of our favorite definitions - feel free to send me your guesses!

1. a snicker that is small and happy.
2. land bumps that sound like a cat (and i got this ... after a bit more coaching).
3. lots of naughty sexy women in the desert.
4. salad dressing - the place where the things that go moo and the things that go neigh live.
5. corn on the ___ and the things that critters with 8 legs build.

cutie on vacation

this week on vacation, papa gerry's back is bad so we've been staying around the house a lot. it's been pretty fun - so many relatives have come to visit (and mama c keeps making incredible meals), and on top of that, we've got the most hilarious little cutie to keep us entertained.

my sweet sister in law, sophie, gave our niece jelena (ye-lay-na -- not jaleena) a musical rockinghorse ornament. the horse had bells on her bridle, and jelena loved them. her papa, chad, asked "what are these, jelena?"
(excited) "jingle bells!"
"how many jingle bells are there?"
(excited) "two jingle bells!"
"how many?"
(exasperated) "two already!"