hello, stranger

it's 1am.  i've been lying in bed trying to fall asleep for an hour.
all i can think about is the rather astonishing fact that our baby is due in five weeks and five days.

the adoption process is nowhere near ready.  our joblessness has been holding it up - so for those of you who pray, please add us to your list!  it's been a big stress for me the past few weeks, to say the least ... but this week, the Lord just told me to sit back and watch Him work.

so i have been, and will keep on, trusting Him.

(on that note,i am loving this post from kelly at life[revealed].)

today an amazing couple from church offered me a permanent ('til school's out) part-time position as a tutor.  so we'll see how it goes from here.  hopefully this will be enough to move everything forward!

last night, i slept soundly.  this morning, a lady in church asked me if i was too excited to sleep.  i smiled inside, thinking me?  too excited to sleep?  never.  i love sleep.  turns out, she's quite the prophetess.  i've got a lot to do in the next few weeks and i can't stop thinking about all of it.

i keep seeing stacks of onesies and newborn diapers and bottles and nursing blankets appearing on the closet shelves.  soft little towels and tiny tiny socks.  baby shampoo.  wipes.  soothers.  all the accoutrements of awesomeness.

i keep trying to picture his face.  what will he look like?  hair?  eyes?  nose?  will he be snuggly and demonstrative? a quiet, independent sort of kid?  will he have allergies?  be fussy?  be a good sleeper?  what if he gets sick?  what if i drop him? will people think we're a family?  will he truly feel mine, right from the start?  am i actually going to be a mom - after all this time?  what if something happens and the adoption is canceled? 

i know this is all in Jesus' hands.  and, no matter what happens, i know that His way is best.  i don't want to miss out on something just because it contains the possibility for heartbreak.  any good thing contains the seed of sorrow.

i can't wait to meet my little stranger.

tangy zesty rice

i've been sick all week, and haven't gone anywhere or done anything.  i've got that miserable cold that's going around and even nyquil hardly makes a dent in it.  anyway, by saturday i needed cold meds, and some groceries (we were down to the brilliant choices of pasta, pasta, or pasta ...) so we hoofed it to superstore and snagged some drugs and food.
on our way home, a really nice older couple stopped and offered us a lift - which we didn't refuse - it was so nice to just sit and let the car do the work of getting us home :).
anyway, when we were at the store, we saw our favorite peanuts - chili & lime flavoured kettle cooked peanuts, just in the bulk section, so we snagged some.   and we got some cilantro, because it makes even the most monotonous pasta amazing.  and some other stuff.
when we got home, though, inspiration struck and we tossed together this fabulously flavourful little rice dish.
here it is:

recipe:
prepared rice
chopped fresh cilantro
chili & lime flavoured peanuts
lemon juice
and really, just pop the first 3 ingredients into a bowl, splash in some lemon juice ... and your tastebuds will think they've died and gone to heaven.  yum!  the chili & lime on the peanuts make beautiful music with the fresh burst of cilantro, and the lemon just zings it all together. let me know if you try it, if you like it, what you do differently.
xo.

mad chap!

for christmas this year, i made lipbalm for the ladies and gents.  i took off the girly edge by calling it mad chap.
okay, it's still pretty girly.  but it's natural, luscious, and makes kissing that much better.  what men would complain about that?
i popped a bowl on top of a pot to make a simple double boiler, then put these ingredients in the bowl:
3 teaspoons grated pure beeswax (may contain pieces of bees.  i'm not kidding)
5 teaspoons of sweet almond oil  (for some batches, i used 3 tsp almond oil, 2 tsp olive oil)
1 teaspoon honey
1 teaspoon vanilla (this wasn't in the recipe.  i think it's why some of the balms have un-hardenable-bottoms.  if i make it again, i'll skip the vanilla)
grapefruit essential oil

stir til it's clear and melted all together.  pour into lipbalmy jars and let sit until it hardens!  then apply, and smooch :)