pieces of my heart

i'm missing the kids more & more as we get closer to christmas.  i absolutely adore them, and miss their perfect hilarious wonderfulnesses.  it's like pieces of my heart are walking around outside my body, and i can't do anything at all to prevent life from hurting them ridiculously. 

i wish i could be there so that they're reminded there is one more person who completely loves them, who wants life to be very very good to them, who thinks they rock no matter what happens.  i want them to grow up totally surrounded by a huge fan base - and i want that to include me!  i want them to know they're prayed for, cheered for, and cherished.
and i want them to know that i know them, as they are, and think they're amazing.

kid 1 is smart and funny and beautiful.  she's breathtakingly smart, and always has been, and is unintimidatable.  she's completely her own person, frank and lovely.  she's the kind of person who asks questions and finds out the reasons behind things, and files the knowledge away tidily in her mind.  and she's always ready to laugh and jump into the next fun thing that pops into her head.  it kills me to think that she was just an itty bitty baby and now she's almost 12 and when i blink again she'll be 24, and i hope & pray she still greets life with the intelligence and glee she's always had.

kid 2 is a beautiful warrior.  when she was teensy, she was all princessy pink and bows and tiaras.  now she's still girly, and always surrounded by friends and parties, but there's something stronger in her, fierce and unstoppable.  last summer, we bought ice cream in the park.  she dropped hers.  no squealing, fussing, or pouting - this kid wrapped her hand around the chunk of ice cream on the floor and stuck it firmly back on the cone.  she's strong and winsome and i miss her snuggles and confidence and her adorable elf-grin when she's trying to worm out of getting in trouble.  i pray that she will find strength in Jesus and grow beautifully stronger in Him every day of her life.

kid 3 is a heartwarmer.  she's generous and spontaneous and goofy, and really considerate of other people.  if you walk into her house, she immediately thinks of ways to make you welcome.  this may include (but is not limited to) dancing around crazily and singing, leaping on you for a hug, or rushing upstairs to get her bubblegum to share with you.  she has a huge and simple faith - she prays with complete confidence.  she loves with her whole heart and forgives faster and more completely than anyone i've ever known.  and if someone is hurt or sad, she's the first to try to make them feel better.  her tenderness breaks my heart, and i hope life is as gentle with her as she is with others.  i pray that she will grow in faith and love and be used by God to bless others more & more.

kid 4 is amazingly fearless and playful, and fearless in the coolest way.  one of my favorite memories is when he performed a concert for patrick & me.  he turned off all the lights, plugged in a strobe light, and sang us a spectacularly sweet version of fiveforfighting's superman.  his voice (gorgeous) was wonderful, but the best part was that he gave us such a cool gift, so un-selfconsciously and generously.  once, he made me a keychain and gave it to me, saying "i made this for you because you love me."  i do - i sure do.  if you're ever looking for someone who is kind, and up for all sorts of daredevilry and a crowd of laughs, he's your man.  i pray that he will walk, like Jesus, generously and beautifully all the days of his life.

kid 5 is a fierce bundle of loyalty and love.  she's the kind of kid who will wrap her arms around you and hold on like the clingiest of koalas, and make you laugh with her silly faces.  she's game for just about anything (which is great for kid 4, who gets lots of practice doing stunts and making jokes with her around).  she's an incredibly appreciative audience/participant.  she adores her family and everything they do, because she's loyal and proud.  she's got the world's biggest soft spot for animals, and lists pets as basic human necessities.  i am so glad and proud to be loved by her.  i pray that the people she loves will always see what a huge gift she gives, and that she will never stop loving generously with all her heart.

i love them.  and miss them.  with all of my heart.