stuck

sam has recently started getting up on his hands and knees.  he can't really crawl yet (well, he can go backwards, shakily, but he gets all upset when he's moving farther & farther away from the toys he's trying to reach), but he gets up on all fours whenever he can.

i was up in the middle of the night, and peeked into his crib.  he wasn't making any noise, but he was up on all fours, just perched there, swaying.  i thought he was awake, and i picked him up to cuddle him back to sleep, but he was already asleep.

yep.  6 months old and he's sleepwalking.  he wants to crawl so bad!

my heart melts when i see him trying so hard to crawl.  he just wants to be on the move, but every day when he tries and tries and tries - he's stuck.

 not going anywhere

this morning, God showed me that i am a lot like my small somnambulist.  (and maybe, like him, it's just something i have to go through to get to the next stage?)

i've been struggling with some medical stuff lately that has me completely stressed out.  like, bawling into my soup stressed out.  it's not something i can change.  i've got an appointment to see a specialist in january, but i can't do anything about it until then.
still, though, i worry about it and think about it and can't let it go.  it's like a loose tooth, and i just keep playing with it even when it hurts.

so maybe, when i'm stuck on all fours and not going anywhere, i just need to appreciate the fact that i'm on my knees already and pray.