and my heart cried

today was our annual sunday school picnic.  i'm sitting here with still-unwashed feet, and they testify to the great time we had.  i have a flip-flop tan, and grass and sand ground fiercely into the bottoms.  it was tons of fun - lots of games, picnic food, and sunshine.

there were a bunch of kids there who have just recently started coming to sunday school - cuties, with all the shyness of preteens in a big crowd of people who obviously know each other well.

i was sitting on the bleachers, opening packs of bubble gum for the bubble-blowing contest.  they weren't playing the game that was occupying all the other kids, so they slid over to see what i was doing.  we started chatting, and they asked if i had kids.  i pointed out my little guy, sitting on his papa's shoulders, watching the game.

'sam?' they asked, eyes smiling, 'he's so cute!  how old is he?'

i told them, and then i told them he was going to be a big brother in a few months.

'you're pregnant?' the oldest girl asked.  (God bless her for not noticing, these days i feel like my belly comes into a room 5 minutes before i do!)

'i am,' i smiled.

'do you know what it's going to be?' she asked.  i told her i'd be finding out soon, and she wanted to know if i would tell her when i knew.  i told her i certainly would, and that i was so excited about it i could barely think about anything else.  she was entranced, and shyly asked if she could feel the baby kick.

patrick walked by and waved, still carrying sam on his shoulders, heading toward the playground to keep him busy.

the girl put her hand on my shoulder, and a worried look came across her face.

'is your husband upset that you're having another baby?' she asked, concerned.

i paused, taking her whole question in, realizing a little bit what must have been behind it. 

'he's so excited,' i squeezed her hand, 'he loves kids, and he wants us to have tons.'

she chewed on the ends of her hair for a second, then smiled at me.

and my heart cried.