courage

be of good courage.

courage.

not a character quality i've ever been noted for.  i'm definitely the stay-home-with-a-good-book type.  bearding lions in their den?  uh-uh.  let's just stay away from lions' dens altogether.

but i think it's one of the key qualities that i need to develop if i'm going to live a life with my heart turned determinedly toward God.

i've been loving matthew 6 lately.  Jesus points us to the beauty of discretion, of living a gorgeous life in secret.  as my friend's grandfather put it: christians should be better than they appear.  hidden from all but God, our hearts should be devoted to praying - fasting - giving - forgiving.

not for others to see - but for Him to see.

and i think in this twittery facebooky world, it's hard to do.  i want to announce to the world when someone wrongs me.  i don't want to absorb that hurt and quietly forgive them.  i don't want to bear injury in secret.  i want commiseration.  validation.  maybe even a little mocking session, to make myself feel better.
and when i'm doing something good?  i want to announce that too.  hey!  look at me!  i'm being awesome!
but ... that's exactly what hypocrites do.  announce other people's wrongdoing, and trumpet their own good deeds. 

shame on me.
that's not what Jesus would do.
that's not righteous.
that's not loving.
that's self-centred.  me first.  me best.  me always.

so ... why courage?
it takes courage, to live righteously for God alone.  it takes courage to admit - to myself, and to you - that i haven't been.  it takes courage to realize i'm building a legacy of unrighteousness with my self-first actions, and face the fact that i need to tear that down and live righteously.  it takes courage to value the hidden life over the public one ... to live for the one who sees my motives and intentions, not just my facebook status.

i was thinking about what God's facebook might look like.  i'm not trying to be irreverent or anything, but i think of the things he could say vs. the things he would say, in keeping with his character.
he could say:  seriously!?  she asks me for kids and then complains about them when she has them?!  gah. grow up, pansycakes!
but he'd more likely say: lovin' my peeps!
or something like that.  :)

because love covers a multitude of sins.  it doesn't bring them to light for everyone to see.  it covers.  protects.  bears.  heals.

 and that takes a brave heart.