Dear Sarah

Dear Sarah;

I have so many fun memories of you.  Me, eating half the beach because you generously believed I could do a handstand.  Meeting up for bagels and cream cheese at all hours. Your twinkly eyes.  Both of us homesick - you, missing especially your beloved grandparents, your Emily.  Watching so many movies.  Getting groceries together.  Riding the train to NS for spring break.  Driving the Mustang my sister rented.  "CC" at Toronto Conference!

The first thought that comes to mind when I think of you, though, is the night we went to see A Walk to Remember.  (You introduced me to Switchfoot - thank you!)  Whenever I come across that movie, I always think of you and Glenda and chocolate covered caramels.  (That's the best way to watch a weeper - surrounded by good friends, sharing sweet comfort food.)

And it's a great title to come to mind because you, Sarah, were so careful and sincere in your walk.  You were kind, and considered your actions and words.  And you lived out your beliefs - even when you might have felt like doing otherwise.  I'm thinking of the time God used you to teach me a lesson, and your gentleness stands out so vividly. 

We were hanging out in your room, and you went downstairs to make hot drinks.  Your diary was open on your bed and I idly read your open page.  I wasn't trying to find out anything in particular, I was just being a careless and thoughtless bad friend.  I reached out to turn the page when I realized I wouldn't want anyone doing the same to me, so I stopped ... and squirmed as the guilt flooded in.  When you came back, I awkwardly confessed - and you graciously forgave me and completely moved on.  The relief!  I didn't expect such grace.  But you walked in light of your Bible, friend, and Jesus tells us who have been forgiven to forgive - so you did, without even taking the time to enjoy a little righteous indignation ;).  I love you for that.

I've been overflowing with tears all day, thinking that I'll never see you here again - and thinking how utterly satisfied your heart must be to be in the presence of the One you lived for so quietly and truly.  

I'm so glad to have walked a year with you, friend.  Thank you for making my life richer and gentler.  

xo.

Because-of Beautiful

My dear friend,
You had a rough beginning.
Broken, like glass, sharp edges that pierce and sliver.
More than anything, you long for wholeness,
You try with all your blessed might to shield your children from anything that might give them the same broken lessening.
You don't see
The because-of beauty in their mother:
Her gentle kindness
Her deep-heart softness
Her careful thoughtfulness.
Qualities etched into broken glass by tumbling waves.
My dear friend
You are precisely you
Because of your broken beginning
Not in spite of it
(God doesn't deal in spite)
And your wholeness
Is the wholeness of a life worn well.
I pray
You will be granted eyes to see
That what you think made you less
Has been used to make you great
And your well-worn dust
Has been filled with the breath of God.
Your life
Is beautiful.