determination

whew.
just watched here comes the boom.

movies like that - where people really put their guts into something they believe in, strive against obstacles, and persist in a glorious montage with a triumphant soundtrack - make me so hungry to do something big.

but in this movie, the main character didn't set out to do something big.  just something ordinary.  and he decided not to give up.  he kept going.  with

determination.
focus.
persistence.
presence.

all these feisty qualities that i don't think i've ever embodied.

sam - my spunky, adorable, strong son - has them in spades.  and every day he practices them.

and i have this friend - i'm completely jealous of her life.  not because she's got fabulous good looks, a wonderful family, and a super-cool job - but because she seems to have this focus and drive and intensity of spirit (and Spirit) that i'm hungry for.

i think it's time for a determination boot camp.
this week i'm giving myself some goals.
and i'm going to practice living with a little determination and a lot of persistence and focus and presence.

i'm tired of the mindless shilly-shallying i've sunk into.

(and this is a good week to practice, because my parents-in-law are coming to help us renovate our basement, and there's a lot to be done before they get here.)

this week i'm going to kill the disorganization in this house.

concrete goals, before thursday:
-kitchen cupboards, sorted and reorganized completely
-sam and vava's closet, sorted and reorganized completely
-broken vanity drawer, emptied and readied for removal
-no facebook before 8pm
-going to the gym at least 3 mornings
-putting word stickers up in sam's room and living room
-hang africa pictures
-sort random basement things onto shelves in back room

well.  that's my challenge to me.
here comes the boom!

ps - if anyone has a great cleaning song/soundtrack, email me your suggestions at janellevivian@gmail.com ... i'll be working on my montage ;)