refocus

a few housebound weeks of infant teething, transitioning a toddler from a crib to a bed, failed attempts at potty training, and some other hard stuff can definitely knock this mama's train off the rails.

i found myself acting as if my kids were the enemy, and sleep was my goal.  bright, hopeful january had degenerated into a sludgey trudge through a whole bunch of muck at midnight without a map.  can i paint it any gloomier?  you get the idea.

last night i finally realized that was how i'd been seeing the kids.  enemies!?  ack!  oh, for shame!  hardly! 

so i sat down with my pen and my bible and i made a list of what i thought a good mom, a holy mom, looks like.

• praying for my kids
• being led by the Spirit through the day
• not losing my temper
• praising God with them
• being an honest example
• deliberately filling them with good things
• cheering them for good choices
• teaching them to lean on God
• seeking their good above my own

the list went on, but you get the idea.  i stopped and looked it over and i cried when i realized i could only check off one of those things yesterday.

i decided it was time to make a mamafesto, a concise statement that summed up my mothering goals, so i could post it prominently and refer to it frequently.

this was what i came up with.  it's not particularly specific, but when i weigh my choices against it throughout the day, i hope it guides me into being a holy mom.

xo.