Advent Day 4

A few months ago I had a super busy day at work. I popped into the office with Pascal for half an hour and ended up staying for closer to three (while he played on my phone and ate allllllll the backup snacks in my purse.)  I'd planned on heading to Costco before the kids came home from school, and I didn't haaaave to, but I knew I could squeeze the trip in if I hustled; so as soon as we were done, I buckled Pascal into his seat and headed toward the highway.
I stopped on the outskirts of town for a quick pee break and my phone buzzed. It was Patrick.
Babe, can you go home? There's a parcel on our front step.
Ugh! Quick reply: I'm just heading out of town; can it wait?
Then back to me: Not really. I'd really appreciate it if you could go put it inside. 
Oh my goodness.
This day.
Whatever.
You know I love you if I'm saying yes in this busy day! I texted, like a jerk.
He just texted back a string of hearts.

So with bad grace I put Pascal back into his seat and headed back across town back through the snarl of lunchtime traffic to pop Patrick's books in the house.

Because I had places to go, people! Food to buy to feed my hungry family! And a sugar-rushy longsuffering three year old whose napping window was rapidly closing!  Gah!

I get that feeling a lot. It's like - THIS THING I'M DOING IS SO HUGE AND I'M BUSY AND YOU GUYS KEEP GETTING IN MY WAY AND I'M TRYING REALLY HARD HERE AND EVERYTHING WILL FALL APART AGHHH! (Ridiculous? Childish? Selfish? entirely.)

And I got home and there, on our step, was not the package of books I was expecting. (Because it's always books.)
No.
There was a huge rectangular box, marked Endy: a beautiful brand new mattress secretly purchased to help with the back pain I'd been enduring lately.

It was for me.

Generously, enormously, lavishly, lovingly for me!

And after I drag/lugged that hulking box over the doorstep, I hugged it and cried. The ungracious text I'd sent washed over me. You know I love you if I'm saying yes in this busy day!

And I do the same thing at Christmas, I do.
I toss a few bucks in the Salvation Army kettle, or drop off some boxes at the food bank, and I think to God You know I love you if I'm saying yes in this busy season.

And he just thinks back a string of hearts.

And then a line from a carol will catch my heart in just the right way and I'm flooded with tears, because Christmas -

It was for me. 

He sent that baby, that gift, that bridge of salvation all for me. And I hustle around thinking I'm making time for him, making room for him, squeezing a kindness to Him into my Very Important Life.

And He's just like -
💝💝💝💝💝.

It's all for us.
Merry Christmas, friends.
xo.