gift

the night before i left halifax, joey gave me this *amazing* book.

one thousand gifts, by ann voskamp.

little did she know, i'd already been reading the author's blog, and am completely in love with it!

anyway, on the plane on the way back to tbay, i started reading it (and weeping like the mccracken i am).  voskamp talks about all the gifts God gives - how everything is gift.
i won't summarize here - i couldn't anyway, it's too lovely to reduce - but one of the things God showed me when i was reading it was that His bringing us to tbay is a gift.

which i should know already, right?  beside the fact that i believe God is good and trust Him to order my steps, sam is the most precious and astonishing gift, and we would never have him if we weren't here.

but sitting on the plane, flying away from my ocean, my sweet home, my incredible loving family, with the discomfort of goodbye still a lump in my throat, God showed me that this isn't a punishment.  or a trial.  (had i really believed that?  ouch.)  it's His gift.

so i kept reading the book and God began opening my eyes to see His gifts.  and they're everywhere.  i started keeping a list.

it's astonishing.
how much God loves me.
He's just pouring out gifts all the time.
and i wasn't even noticing.

so i started noticing.  (i had a lot of time to think, because i forgot my computer cord in halifax and the day after i got home, patrick's computer crashed.  so while i missed keeping in touch with everyone, i loved the stillness and quietness of my mind.)  i started thanking God. for warm boots, translucence of eyelids, late-october birdsong, baby giggles in the morning, a note on the table, french bread, soapy water glistening on a tiny back, rest, being read to, milky sam-kisses, fresh laundry hanging, pumpkin seeds toasting ... 
and on it goes. 
(and goes - He keeps giving.)

then one morning the phone rang, and the postman came up with a parcel.
i was gleeful - i thought it was my missing cord.
then i started opening it, and found a card - an unsigned card - from an incredibly sweet and thoughtful person who knew i was homesick and made me something.

a gift.

it was an utterly beautiful windchime made of seashells.
(my sea!  how i long for you!)

 i love it.

i cupped a shell to my ear and listened to the roar of the ocean, the echo of the surf. 
listened to the echo of the God's heart in this gift, in the heart of my secret sister.
this is the song of love.