the way up is down, and other paradoxes

i've been thinking about this life.
this life where i'm a sinner and holy God loves me and paid with Jesus' blood for me.
this life.

it overflows with paradox.

the way up is down.
the way in is out.
the way to joy leads through sorrow.
the path to motherhood goes through an empty womb.
fullness comes by pouring out.

when i find myself struggling with pride - that sneaky beast who insists on her own way, and all too often wins - God reminds me that the way up is down.  He exalts the humble, but abases the proud.  i writhe with the tension of it.  i want to be right - best - first, but the deeper and truer part of me longs to fall back into grace.  in stillness and in silence, i remember, and let go.

the way up is down.