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Wednesday, December 18, 2024

A Lamp in the Dog Park

There's always a point in my advent blogging that I'm like - why am I doing this? I'm tired, I'm busier now than almost any other time in the year. Why am I sitting here on the internet with my layers peeled back, instead of curled up in bed keeping my thoughts to myself like a sensible person?

I suppose I persist because the hidden beauty of Christmas waits behind closed doors to be found. And I want to find it.

And this is what I found today, at the dog park.

It feels like I only ever get to walk Eevee at night these days. By the time I pick up the kids after work, run our errands, and drop them at home, it's already dusk. She bounds out to the van, and follows her nose around the dark, mostly empty, dog park.

Tonight I noticed I didn't feel unsettled in the dark park. I wasn't huddled under the lamppost, squinting distrustfully into the inky space around me.

It's darker earlier than ever, but, because of the snow on the ground, it's lighter at the same time. The softened, reflected light illuminates the dark places and makes me feel at peace. Not only can I see within the park, and watch Eevee following invisible scent trails, I can even see into the woods beyond the fence. I don't feel like anything unseen is watching me or could be sneaking up on me because I have more light.

And that shouldn't be surprising because obvs - if you can see more, it's less scary. You know where to go, and you can see what's coming. When I'm in the park at night when there is no light, I act differently than when I have lots of light to see by.

It's a metaphor the scriptures use over and over again - we can take steps in the light, move in the light, be free in the light.

When we have enough light to see around us, we can enjoy ourselves and be at peace. We can be busy loving our neighbours as we love ourselves. 

When we don't have a lot of light, we're frightened and worried and unable to even see our neighbours, let alone have space to love. Yesterday, the park was dark and spooky; I left pretty quickly. Tonight, awash in freshly fallen snow, it was peaceful. Comforting. Alight. I lingered and enjoyed myself, enjoyed Eevee.

There's no sense in today-me telling yesterday-me that I shouldn't have felt spooked. Yesterday-me walked in the light I had, and responded according to that light. Today-me walked in the light I had, and responded according to that light.

I guess what hits my heart tonight is that, as we walk through life, we're all in different seasons and have different light. We'll react in different ways to the same situation because we'll see it differently. Judging other people about that is pointless and unhelpful. God grant me mercy to not judge.

Light for all the world 
Born at Christmastime.

Merry Christmas, friends. Wishing you a quiet night in the snow light.
Xo.

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