Thursday, February 18, 2016

Look Full in His Wonderful Face

While Vava and Kachi were eating lunch yesterday, I was preparing Kachi's nap time bottle. My back was toward the kids, and Vava hopped down off her chair and stood behind me.

"Turn around, Mama," she said, "I want to look at you!"

So I turned around and she looked at me and then she clapped and danced and waggled and shouted, "hooray! I love you, Mama!"

I stood there and let her bright love wash over me like a rainbow.  And I felt God smile, nodding, as He gave me a taste of His own joy.

A long time ago, my heart was hurting and tired. A friend comforted me with these lyrics: turn your eyes upon Jesus / look full in His wonderful face / and the things of earth will grow strangely dim / in the light of His glory and grace.

(I'm a big fan of this version, although the 90s hair in the video makes me giggle.)

And nothing has ever been as comforting as that advice. Thinking about Him - his life, His character, His might - settles me and puts my storms to rest. I come to Him, heart heavy, or cranky, or fighting, and just look at Him ... and find peace.

It's been a while since I've really looked at Him, just thought about Him.  I love that He doesn't leave me until I am drained dry. He reminded me pretty adorably, pretty vividly, yesterday.

It's so simple, isn't it? Loving God, I mean. It's just like that - we look at Him, and then respond. 

And maybe you clap and dance and waggle and shout.  Maybe you ask Him for something to do. Maybe you look at Him and burst into song. Maybe you write (lame and embarrassing) poetry in your journal. Maybe you stop and just thank Him for His holy beauty, His goodness, His presence.  Maybe you fast.  Maybe you give.  Maybe you comfort the hurting or fight on behalf of the oppressed.  Maybe you carry friends to Him in prayer.  Whatever it is, looking at Him - really looking at Him - will fill you to overflowing with it.

And as it does, your heart radiates this sweet glory, "Hooray! I love you, Father!"

I don't know what you've got going on, but maybe you're like me and you need to pause and turn your eyes on Jesus.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

Thursday, February 11, 2016


In 2014, I chose the word brave as my watchword - I wanted that to be my heart's focus. 

Last year, I made three new-year goals and ended up striving hard after just one: not being late :).  (I'm not there, but am surely improving.)

And, in God's own never-late way, He waited until halfway through February this year to tilt my heart in another direction.

This year, I'm praying for softness.
I want to be soft of heart and soft with the broken and hurting.
I want to be softer of voice, and softer in spirit.
I want to let God soften me, instead of resisting the inconveniences and struggles He sends.

Check out this beautiful post.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

By Vava, Age 3

When I grow up I will be a white horse. A mama white horse.  And she will have a baby in her belly. And when the baby is born her heart will break into many many sharp and shivery pieces. And they will be all over the ground, so slippery, and they will be lava.