Wednesday, December 19, 2012


i made a batch of fudge yesterday, with coconut milk and honey, and the light smooth creaminess had a certain texture that i couldn't describe with any precision.

it's - it's - well, i want to say mellifluous, i told patrick, but of course that's not the word.  but it's the closest thing i can think of.

and then today i was geeking out over at fritinancy, and discovered that the root of mellifluous is mel - latin for honey - and my tongue was right after all.

don't you just love words?

the recipe is available here.  i also tossed in a half cup of mini marshmallows at the vanilla extract stage.  xo

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Kindness (posted by patrick)

Ephesians 4.32
Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

1 Thessalonians 5:15
See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves and to all men.

I've been convicted by these verses lately. And not because I've been unkind, necessarily. I don't tend to be unkind intentionally, generally. Though I am often ignorantly unkind.

Rather, when others, my brothers and sisters, are unkind or when I perceive that they are being unkind I am quick to foster resentment within myself and these verses have exposed this tendency to me as sin.

If I repay unkindness with unkindness, I am multiplying sin.

If I foster bitterness within myself over the unkindness of my brothers and sisters I am multiplying sin.

If I have been wronged I have no license to be bitter, I have no license to be unkind in return. Rather, I am commanded to forgive, to be kind, to be tender hearted.

I need to get hold of how poisonous bitterness is and that when God commands that there be no bitterness among us, it's because bitterness is deadly. Deadly to me, and deadly to our fellowship.

Even if I am right in my bitterness, even if I have been wronged, I am wrong to be bitter and I am multiplying sin.

It makes me joyful that God commands such extreme purity of heart that there be no grudges among us, no disunity, no fear, no resentment, no dislike, no discomfort but that we be joined together, sharing everything, our fellowship fueled by a love that comes from the very heart of God: the love of Jesus.

God commands it.

There is no expectation that there will be no unkindness, no wrong, no misunderstanding, no disunity among us but there is this command that when there is unkindness, when there is wrong, when there is misunderstanding, when there is disunity we respond with tender hearts, with kindness, with forgiveness.

This is how the unity of our fellowship will be preserved.

veiled in flesh

one of the blogs i follow is written by a brave and beautiful mom who can't bear children - well, not for the first 9 months.  she has two beautiful boys, and she & her husband bore them through the intense labour of adoption and the heaviness of a pain-filled past, into the gorgeous warm love of their family.  i read it in the middle of the night while feeding vava, sleepy and sweet in the quiet.

before i went to bed, i was cleaning the kitchen and listening to kenny & dolly christmas carols.  'once upon a christmas' starts out with a description of mary and joseph's arrival in bethlehem:

joseph found a stable in which mary had her child / once upon a christmas was the birth of Jesus Christ.

i was struck with the incongruity.  the Son of God - born in a stable.

but God does that a lot.  hides his beauty in plain wrapping -

the stable, perhaps, his version of brown paper packaging?

the tabernacle, all glorious and golden, carved and set with gems, was covered entirely with animal skins.  veiled in flesh, the glory of holy God.

eternal life came cradled in a dark tomb, birthed on a bloody cross.

and God makes mothers, brings children, out of the bruise of infertility.

i know.
sam and vava, both miracles, wrapped up in their own brown paper packaging.

what is it for you, the veiling?  what veils His glory right now?

unwrap it for christmas, dear friend.  find his beauty, hidden.  let it be born in you this christmas, painful and glorious in your own dark stable, under a skyful of stars and bursting with angel-song.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

the kiddlies

a peek at my december darlings:

pretty in polka-dots

heart-burst over how much they love each other.

getting his fluids haha

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

and God saw that it was good.

dear friend.

you're walking a hard road.

a good road.

a God road.

and while it's possible

that the night's sorrow will last long,

and your heart won't throb with the deep joy it was made for until that great morning,

i pray that the assurance of His presence

and the comfort of His hand in yours

and the hope - the sure hope -

of hearing His glad 'well done!'

will be enough, and more than enough

to light you through the dark 'til then.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

twenty-one months

sam at 21 months: he is a busy, energetic, sporty little monkey, and rarely snuggles for more than 5 seconds at a time, but every day i am astonished to see the ways in which he is learning to be deliciously sweet.

last night, he & patrick & i were playing tag and having a tickle fight.  patrick pinned me and i was squawking, trying not to get tickled.  sam looked so concerned, and pushed his way past papa to wrap his arms around my neck and make sure everything was okay.

yesterday, vava was crying.  sam gently patted her head and whispered 'shhhh' and gave her a kiss (then he said 'all done' and pushed her away, but the dearness was definitely there!).

this morning we ran out for some groceries.  at the store, he took anything i passed him and placed it in the cart.  i gave him a fist bump, and he came at my fist with his teeth to bite me.  "be gentle," i reminded him, and he turned his bite into a kiss and a pat.

when we came home, i did what i usually do and popped vava (in her carseat) inside the house, and left sam in the porch so he could watch me bring in the groceries.  every time i came up the steps, he tried with all his might to open the door for me.

yes.  in spite of the many days i feel like we're just surviving from breakfast to bedtime, and don't know if i've taken the time to teach sam, he really is learning.  important things, like how to show kindness and love and to think about others.

seeing my son develop qualities like thoughtfulness and care absolutely blows my mind.

and the best part?  i know exactly how he's learning these.  patrick is so kind and takes such good care of us all.  sam tries to copy him whenever he can.  i'm so grateful that he has such an incredible papa to imitate. <3 p="p">

Sunday, December 2, 2012

a little gift

i found a little gift today.
actually not a little gift at all.
a wonderful gift, right on the page where i've read it and missed it dozens of times before.

a few posts ago, i talked about the time Jesus asked me to forgive someone as if i was forgiving Him.  this idea showed up again in my reading today: 'rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man' (ephesians 6:7).

but the next verse was a surprise.  a gift.

'knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord ...' (ephesians 6:8).

we get it back?

the service ... all the good we do to Him, He gives back to us.

think of the good things you've done lately.  maybe you gave til it hurt?  maybe you bit your tongue instead of lashing out?  maybe you poured your busy hour out in prayer for a friend?

guess what?

you get it back!

and not just in kind - but from the Lord Himself.

yes, my greedy, thankful heart!  
whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord.