Monday, June 20, 2011

six places

1. zambia is the one place i want to be right now more than any other. (haha bet you couldn't see that one coming ;)
i miss the wide open sky.  the rain.  the earth.  the adventures.  sakeji.  my adopted sisters :)  the sweet kids. 

2. our rooftop was one of my favourite places to go as a kid.  after my sisters grew up & moved away, i loved going up there to read and think and write.  the side that sloped toward the back had a nice cozy place to lie and dream, without being seen by the neighbours (well ... except the ones with periscopes).  it was all wind and sky and tree-tops. 

3. mr. mckay's classroom is one of the first places i think of when i remember high school.  he was such a great teacher - always had time for us and inspired us and was proud of us.  i want to be like him.

4. maitland is where we got married.  i think it's one of the loveliest places in nova scotia - the sea, apple trees, and big smacking banks of red mud.  mmm.

5. my kitchen - a place where i spend a lot of time.  i love trying new flavours and old recipes.  i love making food for cozy people, listening to audio books, cleaning, or just hanging out there.

6. halifax.  i'm landing there tomorrow and i absolutely cannot wait.  i can't believe i'm going to be able to introduce my son to my family, hug my nieces and nephew, and see my dear, long-lost friends.

ahhhhh.  can someone please tell me how i'm supposed to sleep tonight?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

seven wants

1. i want to hug my family again.  (tuesday, yes!)

2. i want to go to zambia again.  i miss it oh-so-much.

3. i want to be a wise and godly mom - and a fun and joyful one too.

4. i want to give myself a little pedicure this week.  *happy sigh*

5. i want to have another baby. (someday.)

6. i want to teach, someday!  and i want to be good at it.

7. i want to see patrick's books on the shelf in the bookstore, surrounded by swarms of eager readers!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

eight fears

8 fears:

1. i fear God.  He is, in narnian terms, not a tame Lion.

2. i fear living a life of bland monotony.  i don't want to just grow up, have kids, and die.  i want my life to do something, mean something.  i don't want to crawl lazily to death and lie down - i want to rush gladly up to it, at the end, and greet it without regret when every inch of my life is filled to the brim.

3. i fear that i am inclined to be bossy - one of the character qualities i dislike most.

4. i fear that i do not stay in touch with my friends when i am not geographically close to them.  :(

5. i fear echo-y, fanless bathrooms where other people can hear me pee.  (maybe fear is too strong a word for it.  but i really really really don't like it.  which is a bummer when you live in a 1 bedroom apartment!)

6. i fear that i am actually a terrible writer, and people only read my stories on figment because i am patrick's wife and they like his stuff.

7. i fear airplanes!  not being in them, but when they fly overhead in groups.  i always suspect we're being invaded.  i am fully aware that this makes absolutely no sense.

8. i fear hope, sometimes.  if i hope too much, my heart will break.

(this is a sad post!  looking forward to tomorrow's!)

Friday, June 17, 2011

nine loves

1. i 'sure love kisses.'  (sorry, quote from patrick before our engagement.  he was so right.)

2. i love hot, fresh bread.  making it, smelling it, eating it ... :)

3. i love the smell of rain on hot pavement (especially in zambia, but it's nice anywhere).

4. i love waking up to sunshine glowing through my curtains. (they're pale yellow, and they do such happy things to sunlight!)

5. i love my incredibly hilarious and wonderful nieces and nephew to distraction.

6. i love my son, and the mind-boggling miracle from God that brought him into our family.  i love his cute birthmark, his funny laughs, and his incredible determination.

7. i love cuddling into a clean, smoothly-spread set of cool cotton sheets.  mmmmm.

8. i love my amazing parents and the way they never stop learning & growing.  they're so interesting to be around!

9. i love my sisters & brother, who are astonishingly beautiful, smart, and nice.

i think i could go on forever.  :) 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

ten secrets

aw.  this one is hard for me.  i'm quite confessional already, so i don't have a lot of secrets.  the ones i keep are either Super Top Secret or belong to someone else.

however.  i will see what i can do.

1. my secret to a joyful sunday morning is: i get up early.  give myself lots of time to read & pray, have breakfast, care for sam, and get dressed.  then i'm not rushed, stressed, or distracted, and i am ready with a happy heart to remember Jesus.

2. my secret to a sparkling tub is: borax and lemon juice.  scrub scrub scrub.  prettiest, shiniest clean i've ever been able to produce.

3. my secret dream date: a picnic with sam and patrick under a tree, with an l.m. montgomery book and a bag of old dutch salt & vinegar chips.  *happy sigh*

4. my secret to a baby who sleeps soundly and wakes happily: the book "on becoming babywise: giving your infant the gift of sleep."  sooooo helpful & empowering. 

5. my secret dream job: teaching a cooking class, and writing a book about it.  (probably not so secret after all.)

6. my secret pet peeve: snobby people.  (again, probably not so secret.)  they make me throw up a little.

7. my secret to getting things done: checklists.  i LOVE checklists.  i like drawing the little boxes beside my to-do items, and checking them off.

8. my secret wish: to be liked - loved, even! - by a certain someone who i know just doesn't like me.  but how? 

9. my secret air freshener: a spray-bottle with vinegar&water inside.  a few spritzes, and when the vinegar dissolves, it takes any bad smells with it.

10. my secret time-waster: checking&rechecking on figment to see if anyone has commented on my stories.  :P  i thrive on feed-back!

ah there.  now you know more about me than you ever wanted to :).  i think tomorrow's post will be a bit easier!

are any of you up for the challenge?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

happy birthday aunt caitlin!

Dear Auntie Caitlin,
Happy Birthday!

Mama is typing this for me since my hands are in my mouth.  I have some birthday wishes for you.

1. May you always be coordinated enough not to punch yourself in the face.
2. May you never have to sit in a soggy diaper for long.
3. May your blankets be soft and your teddy bears snuggly.
4. May no one ever call you Jim-Bob.

and finally,
5. May your friends love you, even when you uncontrollably vomit on their heads.

I love you sooooooooooo much!  Thanks for all the cuddles, snuggles, and love.
The Sam-Jam.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

a Very Bad Day.

on tuesday, i had to go to the blood lab for some tests.  it's about an hour's walk away, which was pretty appealing on a soft summer morning.
so i got up and didn't eat, since i had to fast before the bloodwork was done.  this also included no coffee, which definitely made it harder to get sam ready because that involves some thinking.
i finally had myself dressed, sam fed and dressed, tucked into the stroller with bottles, back-up clothes, diapers, wipes and blankets - all of the things needed to tide him over for the morning :).  feeling proud of myself for getting it all together, i wheeled the stroller out of the apartment door, and bumped it down the stairs (as gently as i could). 
i was just settling my earbuds in when i realized i'd forgotten my requisition.  agh.
so, i wheeled the stroller back to the building, set it in the stairwell (banking on the presumption that anyone who would steal it would still be in bed), grabbed sam, and dashed upstairs.  got my requisition, back downstairs, popped sam into the (still there! yay!) stroller and started out again. 
so far, so good.

the summer morning was quickly melting into a scorcher of a forenoon (i should know by now that theweathernetwork has some seriously faulty predictions for thunder bay), and i was beginning to regret my blouse with elbow-length sleeves.  i should've opted for a t-shirt.  and my hungry stomach was growling as i pushed the stroller up hill ... whew! 
i was looking forward to being done the tests - i had packed some arrowroot cookies so i wouldn't have to do the walk back on an empty stomach as well.  on the way to the lab, i scouted out a cute park to sit in while i fed sam and ate my cookies.  the day was definitely looking up.

i found the lab okay (thank you googlemaps), and pushed the stroller into a really crowded tiny waiting room (like, zambia-crowded) and took a number.  in spite of the cramped quarters and the stroller (which seemed to be growing in size with every person who entered the room), it was actually a nice wait.
oh sure, it was a long time, but sam was so happy and giggly and friendly with everyone.  i got to chat with so many people, and sam smiled and drooled and giggled at them all.

when my number was finally called, the nurse scowled at me and told me i'd needed to be there at 745 for one specific test.  she grudgingly decided that they could do the rest of the tests, but this one i would have to come back for ... in a month.  yaaagh!  i was so not looking forward to another early-morning hunger hike - but at least i'm able to get medical attention, and it's not costing me an arm and a leg.  so, determined to look on the bright side, i wheeled my stroller through the rabbit-warren to a cubicle, and got a lot of blood drawn.  by this time, i had walked a lot and waited so long that all i could think of was having something to eat!

relieved to know i had cookies in my bag, i re-packed sam into his stroller and pushed him through the clinic to the doors.
and we stopped.
it was pouring.  the scorching sun of a few hours before had long disappeared behind a skyful of heavy grey clouds which were unleashing their fury all over the city.

i grabbed a few cookies - i really couldn't wait! - and bundled sam up as cozily as i could.  i could see some dark clouds in the distance, and knew there was no point in trying to wait it out - this was as good as it would get for a long time.

resignedly, i set off.  my walk home was miserable.  i was wearing flipflops, and they continually sprayed muddy puddle water up my back.  the stroller handle was slick and slimy with my melting sunblock, and the blanket i draped over the stroller kept blowing around.  my blouse, which had seemed too heavy on my way there, was now woefully inadequate.  i was drenched, freezing, and feeling like the worst mother in the world as i paraded the stroller down conspicuously empty sidewalks.

one group of people smiled sympathetically at me from a restaurant window.  i know i looked like a windblown drowned rat.

i was about halfway home when the rain let up for a moment.  i was thrilled!  then all of a sudden, lightning forked out of the sky and thunder bay started living up to its name.

i'm not really a fearful person.  when i lived in zambia, i teased my friends for being nervous in the fierce storms.

but when i saw that first lightning fork, my heart leaped up and cried, "Sam!"  i wanted to wrap myself around the stroller and keep him safe.  all i could do was keep walking - and pray!, which i did - all the way home.

i was so miserable and cranky.  it was the worst day, and i'd have to do it again, and my poor little baby was probably suffering from the rain and cold.  that hurt the most.

but when i finally hefted the stroller upstairs and unwrapped sam, i found him asleep - and warm - and dry!  no tears, no red face from crying.  just a happy cooing baby, glad to see his mama.

eventually i realized it wasn't as bad as it could've been.  my way home, although drenching, was at least downhill.  i had a clothespin that had been holding the arrowroot bag closed, which i used to keep the blanket on top of the stroller; so although it blew around, it didn't blow off.  sam was (somehow!) warm and dry, and good as gold through all the thunder and lightning, even though his mealtime was long past.  i was in flipflops, not sneakers, so at least they dried quickly when i got home.
it wasn't a positively awful day, but it definitely was a Very Bad Day.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

snuggly sunday

the three of us were snuggling on our bed this afternoon, and sam was being so cute.  i took his hand and used it to tickle patrick - and sam burst into huge laughs.  he loved it.  he just laughed and laughed and laughed.

it made my day. 

his laugh is the cuddliest, adorablest, dearest sound in the world.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

i can't write

i can't write!  agh!
i've been trying to start a novel.
just start!
it doesn't even have to be a good novel.
i'm just trying to get one done.

and it's super lame.
alllllll of my attempts are super lame.



i wish i could play the cello.
i would stroll my cello up to hillcrest park and play until my novel began.