For freedom

A gazillion years ago (or probably 16), our friend Dan recommended a series of books to Patrick. He started reading them, then I joined in halfway through the second book, and together we read through the series of thirteen books.

Recently it's been made into a show, and we've been watching the second season.

In the episode we watched tonight, several characters had some enormous realizations about themselves - about who they are. One tempest-tossed character had no memories of himself, of his actions, and walked in fear of what his inner qualities might be. Does he land on the side of good or ill? Is he a bad guy, or a good guy?  And, not knowing, he is scared to act and possibly wreak evil on the world.

And in tonight's episode, when his memory is restored, he realizes he has all along been good, and he is flooded with joy and purpose. He runs. He fights. He rescues.

It reminded me of that scene in Moana, where Moana and Te Ka realize that Te Ka is not actually a monster of fire and lava, but a creature flowing with life - only, her heart had been stolen and left her aching and raging. She isn't Te Ka at all, but Te Fiti. She needed to be restored to her true self.

I grew up believing worm theology - that I was bad and evil and full of rottenness, and I needed Jesus to give me His value so that I would be valued. But I now believe that was wrong.

I read a different story in the Scriptures.

We were created good. We were created with value. We were created to create and speak and sing and laugh and tell stories and listen. 

Sin steals our true hearts. It hides our memories and makes us afraid. It leaves us tempest-tossed and purposeless.

But Jesus came to restore all things. To restore. To redeem, to set right, to set free, to remind us of who we were created to be, and who we were created to be with. To replace hearts of stone with hearts of flesh - warm and caring and beautifully human. Whole.

So writer, write.

Singer, sing.

Worshiper, worship.

Listener, listen.

Caregiver, care.

He has set us free for freedom. 

Go, walk in it.

Xo.

A Little Extra

It was a busy evening where I had multiple commitments all stacked atop one another after a full day of work, and lots of heavy feelings weighing me down. I was so hungry for some solitude and a good cry.

But my girl messaged me.

She had come home from a happy time at a friend's house, and in the first 10 minutes of being home everything had gone wrong, and her kind Papa had asked if she was okay.

"Okay?! Okay?!" she texted, "no, I am NOT okay!"

I don't always get it right. (I usually say the wrong thing that sends her upstairs to punch her pillow and scrawl furiously in her journal.) But God must have given me the right words because in a few moments she was in the driveway in my arms, and we drove out to Dairy Queen for a blizzard. Night had fallen and driving in the dark, even with a mouthful of ice cream, makes for good conversation.

When we got home, I had to get to work. Unprompted, she apologized to Papa for her storms, then pulled her chair into my room and we did our work side by side at my teensy desk.

"You are so precious to me," she said, leaning her head on my shoulder.

After a while, she went off to bed and I kept working. A few minutes ago I finally submitted my article, stood up, stretched, and noticed the two chairs at my desk. 

My heart overflowed.

My evening didn't go the way I'd expected, nor even the way I'd hoped.

It went, oddly, much better. 

I always crave ease or solitude when my heart hurts. But sometimes what it needs is a little shift of focus, a little extra tenderness, and a little extra ice cream.

Sweet dreams, friends.