i found myself acting as if my kids were the enemy, and sleep was my goal. bright, hopeful january had degenerated into a sludgey trudge through a whole bunch of muck at midnight without a map. can i paint it any gloomier? you get the idea.
last night i finally realized that was how i'd been seeing the kids. enemies!? ack! oh, for shame! hardly!
so i sat down with my pen and my bible and i made a list of what i thought a good mom, a holy mom, looks like.
- praying for my kids
- being led by the Spirit through the day
- not losing my temper
- praising God with them
- being an honest example
- deliberately filling them with good things
- cheering them for good choices
- teaching them to lean on God
- seeking their good above my own
the list went on, but you get the idea. i stopped and looked it over and i cried when i realized i could only check off one of those things yesterday.
i decided it was time to make a mamafesto, a concise statement that summed up my mothering goals, so i could post it prominently and refer to it frequently.
this was what i came up with. it's not particularly specific, but when i weigh my choices against it throughout the day, i hope it guides me into being a holy mom.