i'm late for work! and other thoughts.

so why am i posting on my blog?
(i'm waiting for patrick.)

tonight i taught esl with joey. i can't even tell you how much i'm going to miss it. our students just rock. they're fun and kind and ask hilarious questions.
they're brave - they come from all over the world and somehow end up in little ol' halifax. then, they're brave enough to come to esl at a church they've never attended with people who are as crazy as joey & me ...

the awesomest part of esl is getting to introduce people to Jesus - and for those who already know Him, to talk with them about Him. because He's awesome.

ooh, patrick's ready - gotta go! xo

joy comes in the morning

i haven't been feeling well the past few weeks. i was hoping for an appointment this month with my pcos specialist, but received no notice.
yesterday, mom & i were chatting and she said there wouldn't be anything wrong with me calling just to check. there wasn't any answer, but i left them my number, just in case.

this morning, they called and told me ... my appointment was scheduled for today!! i do have one, and i didn't miss it!

what an awesome, amazing blessing. just another way that God takes care of me.

innocent sowvillians

the other night i woke up with this in my head. who'd'a guessed: my sleeping self has the same lame sense of humor as my waking self.

cryin', lovin', or leavin'

it's been a weird few days, and i miss my patrick. lately our sleep schedule is all wacky. you'd think that since we both work nights, we'd sleep the same rhythms. we totally don't.
for example ...

cryin':
on sunday, i got a migraine (first in years! yuck!). i took two gravol and hit the hay, the only way i can get through 'em. patrick, although he had to work, was unable to sleep on sunday thanks to me waking him up. so he tossed and turned all day while i zonked out ... for 20 hours. seriously. he had already worked, come home, and slept by the time i woke up.

lovin':
so we planned to hang out on monday night, with bekah and justin (yay!), after the sunday school teacher's meeting. i got to hang out with patrick for an hour or so before i went off to that.

leavin' (and some more cryin'):
monday is our only night off together. after a disastrous date with bekah & justin (during which i had a horrific allergic reaction, we couldn't get the dvd player to work, and patrick fell asleep), i couldn't seem to sleep at all. bekah and justin headed home (likely with more than a few sighs of relief) and i laid around, read books, played msn games, planned my conference cookies ... finally, i got in bed and hoped for sleep.

didn't happen. eventually, i got up and started making my cookies for conference. as the sun started to rise, i made a cup of tea and took my book out onto the balcony. i had on snuggly pyjamas, and took a cozy blanket with me - which was good, because the morning was chilly and wizard-of-oz-windy. just when i'd decided i'd had enough of the beautiful - but too brisk - weather, i realized i couldn't get the door open. i was stuck on the balcony until someone woke up.

an hour later, mom woke up and let me in. hallelujah!
then patrick woke up, and we had breakfast together. after that ... I FELL ASLEEP! now that he was awake.
he spent the day chillaxing, and just when i was waking up, he came to bed to get some sleep before work.

AARGH!
anyway, we work the same shifts for a few nights, so here's hoping we'll get to see each other non-drugged, non-sleepy, and non-crazy.

the dads

our dads have been having a busy june.
my dad hit a big milestone ... he turned 65 last week!
happy birthday dad. the old people jokes will stop soon ... xoxo. you're awesome.

and patrick's dad was stricken with a slipped (or herniated?) disk. poor papa Gerry is spending one of God's loveliest months in bed, slugged with drugs. mean ol' disk.

(my representation of the mean ol' disk)
to both our dads: we love you & thank God for you. thanks for all the ways you (still!!) take care of us.

crazy/sleepy

apparently, i've been a chatty little sleeper today. check out my insanity on patrick's post here.

before i go back to sleep, here are some cool thoughts from the sermons i was listening to at work:

God is not a cosmic pinata. prayer isn't a stick you use to beat blessings out of him. he's your father. prayer is like talking with your dad.
and
there's no point criticizing the church. who is the church? you are. stop criticizing yourself and make some positive contributions.

mark driscoll makes me laugh.

big catch-up post: life lately

it's almost 1am. i'm sitting in mom and dad's living room, trying hard not to giggle out loud. i'm reading engrishfunny, and it's killing me.

(part of me feels a little bit bad at making fun of people who are trying to speak english. the rest of me just finds the mistakes hilarious. if people were laughing their butts off at my lame-o lunda, i would laugh too.)

i haven't posted forEVER! i haven't seen my friends, haven't done anything non-family-social, for practically a month. i've been working nights - and i love it. i get lonely, but mostly my mars hill downloads keep my mind busy while my body does the work.

work
my favorite part of my job is unpacking pallets. i get to slice open boxes, unpack the clothes, check them off on a list, and hang them on racks. then i have to unplastic everything (i recycle!), and arrange it according to size. after that, i cinch everything with a waist. it's easy, i get to use a knife, and i see the cute clothes before they hit the salesfloor. :).

some nights i just clean & tidy the department all night long. surprisingly, there is enough work to keep me busy for 8 and a half hours, but my mind gets numb by 5 am. last friday i was so bored it was making me twitchy.

The Move
as well as working, i was busy with The Move. we packed up our cozy little place with the world's ugliest address the end of last month. we threw out so much stuff. (i don't understand: we've moved 5 times in 4 years of marriage, and still we manage to accumulate things.) we were kind of forced to take our time with packing this time around. we're moving to thunder bay in august, but don't plan to stay there for more than a year. so we had five different categories while we packed: garbage, value village, need for the summer, take to thunder bay, and store in halifax.
we printed off labels and everything. (this will definitely make things easier in august when we have to haul it all across the country. we'll just read the labels and pop it in - no sorting or deciding required!)
as usual, our family was amazing. they came and helped us pack, trucked our stuff across the city to mom and dad's, and helped us clean. even my 9 year old nephew was cleaning! three cheers to him :).
we were really glad to be done The Move.

grad
i did it. i'm finally, officially, done school. i am janelle labelle, b.a., b.ed. i am licensed to teach your children muahahaha ... ;).
unlike most of my friends, i'm not subbing this month. after working 6 days a week all year, i just wanted to slack a bit this summer. patrick, the love, was in favor, so i'm working part time nights and that's it.

jen's visit
the other fun thing that happened was my big sister coming to visit. we had lots of fun eating yummy food, playing with the kiddos, and staying up late. she made the best spicy sauce for summer rolls while she was here - yum! and korean barbecue that was to die for.

patrick's birthday
this is happening RIGHT NOW! and he's at work. we've kind of been celebrating all week - monday, we slept all day, then got up and had a date that lasted from 7pm until 6am. we had supper, saw a movie, talked over drinks, looked at apartment ads in tbay, watched another movie, watched the sun rise, then went out for breakfast. it was awesome. this is a weird backward starlit summer. tonight we went out for snacks with mom and dad and joey. yum! but patrick had to go to work afterward :(.
i'm excited for him to come home this morning. i've never had a 27-year-old husband before.

forward things
we bought tickets for our july trip to kap! we're super happy to be going, especially as it means we'll be able to have a fun drive up from toronto with the adorable newest labelle, jelena. we also plan to get bubble tea from our very own favorite chinese restaurant, and that's almost worth the flight in itself. of course, it goes without saying that we'll have loads of fun with our labelle family: i'm excited for some fierce rounds of bananagrams and catch phrase already!

we also called some landlords about apartments we found monday night. i'm feeling apprehensive about thunder bay. the people i've met from there are so warm, but the temperatures we'll have are so cold! all that snow ... ugh. when i lived in zambia, i was over the moon. not a flake to shovel, or a hint of frost to slip on! on the bright side - chrissy, caitlin, and stevie k will be there. i'm told the hoito is the best restaurant ever. and there seem to be about a million gorgeous hiking trails to try out. and i will still be able to surf your blogs.

happy sun-catching, summer friends! see you on the moon side.

a good swift kick and some grace

this is what i need.
from you.
or somebody.

i need a good swift kick. i've hit a wall. i'm still exercising every day, and adding good choices to my meals - but i haven't lost anything for a few weeks. i feel stronger, and i even think i look better. but that stubborn scale just won't go any lower.

i know it's not about the scale, in my rational mind ...

but in my tired, sulky, give-uppy mind, i just want to flop down on the couch and ignore my promise to myself that i am going to stick this out. pcos is totally winning.

it's still fun to work out, once i get up and do it. but it was more fun when the scale was celebrating with me.

that's the down side.
on the bright side, i've been enjoying something kind of cool at work.

because no one's talking to me (nothing personal, they don't talk to anyone), i've got 8 hours to listen to my ipod without interruption. i've downloaded some sermons from mars hill church, and i listen to them while i work. it makes the time go by so fast, and gives me something productive to think about while i'm sizing and cinching.

last thursday, i was listening to a sermon on jonah. one of the points the speaker made was that the assyrians (the people in nineveh) received huge grace from God.

[their culture destroyed other civilizations in hundreds of different ways - because racial purity was important to the israelites, the assyrians forced intermarriage on them. the children of these marriages were outcasts: the israelites didn't embrace them into their culture because their parents chose to live with assyrians instead of being killed, and the assyrians didn't embrace them because they were inferior - they were bred as a shame to the israelites.
these children, incidentally, became known as samaritans ... anyway, back to the point]

so the speaker was saying that although we usually judge jonah for not wanting to obey God, jonah kind of had a point. when he said "i knew you'd be merciful, because you're like that, and repent of punishing them like you say you will," he's speaking in socio-cultural context. the israelites want the assyrians to be punished by God. this is only - humanly speaking - fair. the israelites are God's people - so he should punish their enemies.

but God offers a flood of grace to nineveh. and he gets jonah to be the one to cause their repentance, so He can pour grace on them.

same with us.
we're the assyrians.
we don't deserve pity, kindness, mercy.
we judge people, ignore people, ignore God, and forget kindness. we're selfish, unholy, and cruel.

still, God provides grace for us. it cost a lot. His Son had to bear the punishment in order for Him to do it. but it's there for us, because God isn't a god of karma. He doesn't make sure that bad people get bad things. He provides grace for both the evil and the good.

this kind of math doesn't make sense. He's a whole different dimension of love that i can't even understand.

and i get to learn this at work.

workin' the night shift

last night was my first nightshift at superstore.

patrick warned me that the reason people work nights is because they don't like interacting with people. he was totally right.

i showed up, the manager let me in, and i said "hi, i'm new, working in joe fresh."
he jabs his thumb to the left and says, "joe fresh's over there."

yup.

so i went to my department, found a note that told me what to do, and got to work.

at break time, after 2 and a half hours of sorting, folding, and tidying clothes, i was ready to talk to someone! so i grabbed a smoothie, paid for it at the cash desk, and stood there smiling. i felt like a puppy at the pound, just waiting for someone to pick me, pick me!

the smokers went outside, and everyone else melted away. i was left smiling at thin air ...
i made my way unhappily back to my department, where i sat on the desk alone and drank my smoothie.
i called patrick, and he laughed at me.

the same thing happened at lunch.
by the third break, i didn't even bother. i just kept working.

next time, i'll bring a book.

turbo jam

my sweet friend carol gave me her turbo jam dvds. i've been rocking out to them for the past ten days, and they are awesome. i have so much fun blasting out a quick workout in the morning (i started out doing them at night, then switched to the morning to try to reduce my caffeine addiction). i feel good about myself all day.

the music and dancing makes it feel like a party.

this morning, i did a quick workout then headed off to pick up patrick at work. i was driving down the road, and saw joggers and walkers out for their exercise. the first three i saw looked so miserable that i almost giggled. they definitely need some turbo jam fun.

i think the fun is why i keep doing it every day. yes, i'm starting to see results, and it's moving me toward my goal, but the truth is, it's really fun. i'm not good at consistently doing something difficult. i'm very externally motivated, and don't have a lot of oomph inside to get up and go. i've tried walking, watching what i eat, and going to the gym. if i don't get some daily, observable benefit, i tend to give up on things really easily. if you see me sticking to something, you know it's because i love it or really really really want it.

as far as turbo jam goes - i love it.

summer rolls

*note, this post is not about my weight loss goals: the title refers to these yummy little wraps we made!
we were inspired by patrick's awesome cousin danielle and aunt pauline, who tried these and posted beautiful pictures on facebook. i hunted down the ingredients that day, and had a blast trying to make them yummy and pretty.

they turned out to be so delicious that the next day we had company for lunch and made them
again! it was impossibly simple:
rice paper, filled with cilantro, celery, basil, carrots, chicken (the next day we also tried spicy sausage, and it was a hit), cold rice noodles, and chives for some prettiness.
the sauce was hoisin, soy, and vinegar. mmmmmm.

(now that i'm not in school, i've got a lot more time to play in the kitchen.)

we wanted to do something special when bekah and justin came for supper, so we decided to eat on the floor ;).
we made nachos using jensen's orchard veggie chips - yum! - and blended up two of our favorite crazy dips: dill hummus and mango-lime guacamole. we ate them african style on the floor with a chitange mat, and used robb & angele's present - gorgeous african napkin holders & napkins.

and i'm trying to use more veggies lately, so i made stuffed peppers for supper one night. mashed potatoes, turkey, celery, and green onion made up the insides, which i stuffed into parboiled peppers without burning my fingers (success!).
after i took this photo, i decided to top them with grated cheese and pop them into the oven until the cheese toasted. less healthy, but more yummy. mmm good!

romans 8:28

lately, i've been overwhelmed with how especially kind God is. this spring, life feels sweet.

last year was particularly tough - we lost our baby bean, and haven't really managed to get back to life as we knew it. everything reminds us - everything would have been different, and isn't. just by being the same, it hurts.

today i saw a little girl curled up in her parents' arms. she was born when the baby bean was due. it felt like a punch in the stomach, to see her. she's beautiful. and that would have been us.

another friend keeps posting pictures of her beautiful babies online. and that's great. i'm totally, completely glad for her. but every picture is a stab in the heart.
a mean little voice whispers in my head, you can't have this! you'll never have this!
and i want to set up a pity party - mull over each aspect of the life we're missing, stare at pictures and long to see myself in them, think about just why my sorrow is so much more piercing than anyone else's.

but God points out - relentlessly, ruthlessly - that this isn't what He has chosen for me this day.

what has He chosen?

patrick is a living, breathing example of God's love to me.
my graduation miracle was a huge gift (i thought i was going to have another semester of school, but i don't - i can graduate this month).
my family loves me like crazy, and takes care of me. every time i see them i feel God's arms around me. i have sisters and friends who love me. i have a crazy wonderful little brother i'd do anything for.

this - this! - is my life: the blessedness of being cherished in the palm of God's hand, the awesomeness of being in the deepest, closest marriage that has ever existed, the sunshine-joy of being an aunt to six adorables, and the definite awareness that He is working His plan for my life.

God is so patient with me. when my heart is torn and sore, He is especially kind to show me His love. when i want to curl up in a pity party, He doesn't let me. instead, He shows me that i am the last person to deserve one.

i'm blessed.

daily, i am more assured that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.