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Friday, November 1, 2013

while it was still dark


it's still dark.
maybe there's a huge spray of stars overhead, or maybe it's cloudy, but either way - dark.
nighttime.
dawn hasn't yet softened the pitch into something more navigable.
and these women come along, carrying jars and baskets and bags.
and sorrow.
that heaviest burden.
it's night, coal-dark, and their hearts are darker.
i think it's too stark for tears.  i think their throats and eyes are burning, that dry ache of despair and confusion.  
there's no way they could have slept.
maybe they sat up and whispered together.
maybe they stared into the dark, eyes wide open, hearts nailed shut.
they walk stark in the horrible awareness that this is a world without hope, carrying their bottles, their last things.
it's not like they'll be able to use them.
it's a pointless walk, at best.
their heart's hope is dead and gone, their grief unresolvable.
but still they come to the graves.
they come to soften the blow of death, to anoint it, to give tenderly what was not permitted in those last searing hours of life.
good samaritans ... late, but better late than not at all.
and perhaps they can persuade a guard to relent, crack the seal, and release their tears, their mourning.

dawn whispers in the east, and 
there are guards, sleeping, all around.
the breeze quickens, slight, a breath
and there is an odd scent of - spring - 
and the stone is rolled away

the stone is rolled away
and the dead they came to wail over is
standing there
glad and perfect and FINISHED!

light streams from everywhere
and joy is deep and sweet and still
and glad and
the relief!
the stone is rolled away
death is gone
leave that tomb for someone else, 
it's irrelevant
this resurrection changes
everything.


*


Ninety-one to One Hundred

91. Children's Tylenol in the long painful night.
92. Coffee in the early painful morning ;).
93. Sam and Vava waving to each other from opposite sides of the patio door.
94. Simple but yummy side dish for supper.
95. Airplane rides and giggles.
96. One-sock Vava.
97. Sam's fascination with bugs, and his determination not to let any get too close to mama.
98. Sam licking Vava, "yum baby!"
99. Sam passing the markers to Vava; dexterous darling conquers the tightest of lids.
100. Sam hiding under the table, announcing "Sam hide ... make poo. Sigh ... No, make mess." (No poop ... just an attempt to drag a red herring across the Case of the Art Supply Mess.)

Eighty-one to Ninety

81. Up early while the kids slept late. Stillness.
82. Sam passing Vava snacks in the car.
83. Playgroup ... and mom chats for sanity's sake.
84. Creating a spectacular blackberry-mandarin-vanilla salad dressing.
85. Cinnamon candied walnuts.
86. Neighbour-love for the kids! Love our street.
87. Sam passing out candy by the fistful.
88. Guests. ♥
89. An adorable baby announcement.
90. Invitation for next weekend - yay!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Seventy-one to Eighty

71. Ducks streaming through still water, shining in sunlight.
72. Sam pushing Vava in the stroller, bumping it right up to the edge of the bridge. "Wook, Va, ducks!"
73. Clapping "yay mama!" when I succeeded in putting on the mittens he'd been protesting against.
74. Friendly neighbours giving our kids an early treat.
75. Sam pretending to have and release a handful of helium balloons.
76. A stranger showing me her son's performance video in the mall.
77. Unexpectedly low repair bill :).
78. Hardworking hands, home from work, right into the dishpan.
79. Delicious lunch.
80. Quiet naptime, house still, tidiness restored.

Sixty-one to Seventy

61. A break from teething pain, crying, red cheeks.
62. Kids absorbed in the bath, new toys, splashing.
63. A shower, uninterrupted, while Sam was awake!
64. Laughing family run at dusk, baby legs eager and wobbly.
65. Grandparents' love arriving in the mail.
66. Vava's spontaneous "thank you".
67. Sam and Patrick's tower, eight feet tall and full of glee.
68. Sam blowing raspberries and laughing as only he can.
69. Cuddling with Vava under a navy sky.
70. Sweet sweet sleep.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Fifty-one to Sixty

51. Playing in the park with a lovely friend.
52. Sam's infectious laugh.
53. Vava's new tooth.
54. Fried feta dipped in homemade marinara.
55. Government papers coming in on the very last possible day! Whew!
56. Early morning quiet, coffee, Bible.
57. Sparkly new earrings, hand-delivered from Prague.
58. Breaking out my wonderfully warm (and fantastic) giant toque.
59. Sam, finding me curled up with his stuffed monkey, brings me his soother and says "mama fweep."
60. Anbesol ... relief for little miss v.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Forty-one to fifty

41. Watching snow fall on a pitch-black morning.
42. My kids playing together, giggley elves in stripey jams.
43. Breakfast sizzling on the grill, music, and dancing with miss Vava. Recipe for a warm heart.
44. Vava loving spicy food.
45. Kids singing the number song together.
46. One True Love doing dishes.
47. Yogurt topped with blackberries.
48. Sam telling me about his day ("Sam mine! Kids cry." ... I think he might've had a sharing issue in Sunday school!)
49. Smiley faces Patrick drew on Vava's feet.
50. Coffee and playtime at Chapters with friends.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Thirty-one to Forty

31. Friends around a table, faces bright and hearts glad.
32. Sleeping in ... ahhh such a Saturday!
33. Coming home to two glad welcomes and squeezy hugs.
34. Silly Sam-love.
35. Vava eating crackers like a boss.
36. Cuddles with cozy baby Phia.
37. Amazing babysitter and the peace of knowing my kids are in her good care.
38. Late-night treats and a good chat.
39. Grocery day ... full cupboard, full fridge, full thanks.
40. Nighttime silence as the house creaks itself to sleep.

Twenty-one to thirty

21. Snowpants from people we love, to keep our kids and hearts warm.
22. A huge pile of leaves at the park.
23. Chicken and bacon and tomatoes and basil and parmesan salad for lunch ... mmm.
24. Sam's beautiful smile.
25. Vava's little nose, red in the cold.
26. Warm soup, comfort and joy.
27. A good book and a hot bath.
28. I love you from my nephew.
29. An unexpected hug in the mall.
30. Answered prayer for a heartsore friend.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

eleven to twenty (1000 gifts)

11. white branches against a black sky, specked with stars.
12. sweet warm sleeper snuggled in my arms.
13. my sister's voice on the phone, so close.
14. a happy scene in the book i'm reading.
15. belly-laugh laughing with patrick.
16. sam putting his arms around vava, saying i love you.
17. bacon and hot sauce.
18. sam singing before bed.
19. hilarious vava barking at the mailman.
20. sam blowing kisses to blondes at red lights.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

One-to-ten (1000 gifts)

1. Fuzzy socks in warm boots.
2. Naptimes coinciding.
3. Brave girl whooshing joy on the slide.
4. Busy boy holding my hand to cross the street.
5. Handsome kiss goodbye.
6. Morning coffee, waiting for me.
7. Toys all over the floor, crumbs of happy play.
8. Scripture Audio right on my phone.
9. Friends - so dear! - coming soon.
10. French onion soup with melty cheese.

Friday, October 18, 2013

how to make baked collard chips

there is a way to time your baked collard chips perfectly.

8 minutes at 375*, roughly ... but the perfect way is this:

when you've ripped out the spines and tossed the leaves in sesame oil, laid them flat on parchment paper on your favourite pan, and sprinkled them with zesty salt, pop them in the oven, and take out an absorbing book.

you must stand while reading, or the trick won't work.  sitting is too seductive.  stand at the counter, hunched like an ancient granny, chin in hand.  read your book until the smell of the baked collards catches your attention.  as soon as it pulls you out of that other world, fly to the oven, open the door, put on your oven mitts, and remove the pan.

they're flat and crisp and flakey ... perfectly, deliciously done.  now you can enjoy your book - and crispy greens.

mmm.