God has blessed us with a wonderful gift, a gift that reflects His own heart in so many ways.
in march, we will be adopting - not a hippo, a pelican, or a giraffe - but a brand-new baby boy :).
how it happened:
patrick and i have wanted to have a family for a long time. ever since losing our baby in 2009, we have been looking into different ways to deal with my pcos and the infertility/difficulty carrying a baby that comes with it. it's pretty disheartening, and we also started looking into adoption. knowing the costs that adoptions entail, however, we didn't seriously consider it as an immediate option, since patrick's still in school and i'm not able to get a teaching job here in tbay.
on my first day at work, i met a lovely girl. she was pretty, and sweet, and competent. we had a lot of time to sit and chat, and since we're both pretty open about our lives, managed to share a lot of personal stories with each other. i told her about my miscarriage and longing to have a child; she shared with me her sorrow about being unable to keep her baby. i felt my heart leap, but didn't say anything. (how do you ask someone to please give you her baby?)
a few days later, she confided that she had found someone she thought would be perfect to adopt the baby (she didn't want to go through an agency - that was too cold & impersonal, and also, she wanted to know her baby would be raised by christian parents, but she hadn't been able to find anyone she felt was just right). she laughed and said she didn't know how to approach the prospective parents - she didn't know how to ask them if they would consider taking her baby. i said, yes, it would be awkward - and awkward for them too, if they didn't know how to make it known that they would love to adopt her baby so she could feel comfortable asking.
"you, for example" she said "i would love it if you would be interested in adopting the baby. but how would i ask you?"
it was like God simply placed this gift into our hands. patrick and i had been praying - and continued to pray! - about this. and just felt comfort and peace. Jesus was adopted - raised by joseph as his son. and God adopts us into His family. and God gave up His Son - for our abundant life. if God has done so much through the beauty of adoption, maybe He wants to do this for us - and for the baby - as well.
so, we've met with an adoption practitioner everything is getting under way. we've got paperwork coming out our ears :).
also, we have some beautiful ultrasound pictures - one in particular melts my heart: he's sucking his thumb and rubbing his ear with his other hand, just like my nephew used to do when he was a baby. i can't wait to meet this kid face to face.
here are some answers to the most popular questions we've had so far:
1) yes, we do know the birth mom might change her mind. yes, we're keeping that in mind. (in response, i just want to say that there is a higher rate of miscarriage than of this happening, and it's definitely considered taboo to tell a pregnant woman she could likely miscarry. adopting moms are no less emotionally invested or in love with the baby than other moms, and are completely aware of this possibility.)
2) we're currently going through a homestudy and taking adoption classes. we're following all the proper legal channels, and the baby will be legally totally wonderfully ours 29 sweet days after he is born. (we will be taking him home from the hospital, but the adoption can be voided up to 29 days after his birth.)
3) it will be an open adoption, but precise details about what this means for all of us are still in process of being sorted out.
so, that's our story. please pray for both birth mom and baby. :)