i quit my job.
no, i'm not crazy.
this is me explaining why.
first off, i had turned down the promotion and was convinced to take it against my better judgment. i knew i didn't want more hours and responsibility. full time supervisor was enough for me - and then some. i'm not a work-driven person; i like a job that makes me feel successful and positive relatively quickly (like my first teaching placement ... i loved jr. high. i could definitely handle the workload and saw changes in my students' learning as i taught). i guess i need that kind of affirmation, or i don't see a point in going on. if it's taking me an unusual amount of time to achieve results, i might as well step aside and let someone with more skills take the reins - we'll all be happier in the end.
secondly, i was working way too many hours. i was pulling 14 hour days (on salary, so no correlation in my paycheque) and i saw patrick for weepy half-hours in the evenings and mornings. at first, i liked the challenge of seeing if i could get through the grand opening. but as time went by and i was still learning - slowly, slowly - while the amount of work i was required to do increased, my desire to get up in the morning decreased. all i could do was come home at night and collapse into bed.
next, i was stressed out. i was working 14 hour days, missing my husband, rarely getting days off, and getting one break per day. i lost ten pounds in a month. (the weight loss is nice ... but stressing it off was not the best way to lose it.) EVERYTHING was a BIG DEAL! and i was getting boring. on the two occasions when i did see my friends, i just talked about work. ugh.
fourth: weekends. when i took the job, my biggest hesitation was that i wouldn't be able to get to church every sunday. i was assured that every second sunday i would be free. ... but in actuality, after a month, i got to one service. not my thing. i don't want a job that rules my life, even if this busy time is supposed to end in 3 months - i don't want to be a stranger to my christian family.
finally, the support i was assured i would have was just not in place. when i asked for help, i constantly heard "you'll understand everything in time, don't worry." which wasn't the best answer when home office was emailing and calling me constantly, asking me to correct mistakes and to get things done yesterday.
so, after considering it carefully, and after finding myself crying more days than not ... i said goodbye. life is short and i want it to be sweet.