Friday, September 10, 2010

cringing in my soul

i have a confession to make. i am terrified of creepy plane noises.
not ordinary flying passenger planes, but horrible zoomy rumbly russian-spy-sounding planes.
(patrick pooh-poohs this fear and tells me that no russian spy planes are allowed in cdn air space. well of course they aren't ... but i bet the good ones get in anyway. that's their job, right?)

(these are russian planes. let me know if you see them coming.)
i often have spectacular nightmares that i go outside and look up at the sky and suddenly it bursts into action, filled with planes zooming and shooting at each other. and i know that canada is at war and i need to join the resistance.
(this usually ends up with me on a top secret mission and running from the bad guys who have invaded halifax.)

when i was little, my mom babysat a twisted kid who told me that a ghost lived in the pencil sharpener, and that airplanes would come and get me if i was outside playing when they flew overhead.

i'm no shrink, but i think this may have something to do with it. i'm not afraid of pencil sharpeners, but freaky non-passenger planes do make my heart beat fast.

when i watched pearl harbour, i completely knew what they were feeling when the planes attacked. i've felt it, dreamed it, feared it.

once, when we were living in toronto, a huge group (squadron?) of not-normal planes zoomed over the city, flying really low. they were so loud, and so low, and all of a sudden i imagined bombs plummeting to the ground. my heart didn't stop pounding for hours. i kept waiting to hear someone with a blackberry yell that we'd been attacked. (clearly, it didn't happen).

apparently, there was an airshow nearby, and these planes were on their way. ugh.

anyway, this morning a loud, abnormal plane circled by and i cringed. i thought writing about it might help.

it probably didn't, but now you know my secret fear.


  1. janelle, i completely get this! i get scared if i hear a low flying plane, too. when i was working at the airport, sometimes a GIGANTIC military plane would call and they'd have to clear the runway immediately. they never told us anything, obviously, but the airport would rumble and shake like the world's biggest earthquake.then, all the daylight would dissipate and this huge military plane would fly in, so huge that all you could see out the windows was black. the first time it happened, i was terrified and called justin; thankfully he consoled me, but it always scared me to death and my heart would pound forever after...

  2. oh, i'm so glad i'm not the only one! maybe it runs in our family? i love you, bekzor!! <3

  3. shortly after 9/11, a military plane flew really low over Truro. we found out later it was a fly-by for some veterans day thing. but it was really, really unwise and i was pretty freaked out!

  4. This post totally reminded me of a Kit Pearson book I hadn't thought of in forever. I think it was "When the Lights go on Again". It was about the war, and how they had to hide in their houses with black out curtains so that planes wouldn't see any lights below (and then continue to bomb them). I read it when I was really young and was absolutely terrified. I can remember tacking up towels around my window at night and crying when I heard planes. I was probably too young to have read the novel, to be honest. I hadn't thought of it in years. You're not alone dear Janelle :)