A Way of Boomeranging

 Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbour's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say "Let me wash your face for you," when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbour.

 Matthew 7:1-5, from the Message.

I was reading this section this morning when my kids were sniping at each other, criticizing each other and just being thoughtlessly mean. "Hey," I told them, "I've got just the word for you." And I read them the passage, feeling like Such A Good Mom. I found a teachable moment (and straight from the Bible, extra points!).

You see where this is going, right?  Oof. I should have known.

 It wasn't an hour later when I was jumping all over my kids' failures, criticizing their faults, my own face twisted into an ugly sneer. My guiding words from this morning dissolved into wisps of nothing; my actions spoke so much louder.

Yeah. That word this morning was for me.  Uggggh.

I feel like it's pretty easy for me to justify jumping on my kids' failures, pointing out where they need to improve. Doesn't a good mom have to? I mean, I see those dirty faces, and I hand out washcloths all the time.

But ... I rarely think to check if I've got something on my own first.

And as soon as I realized how dirty my face was, the criticism came flooding up. Sharp, harsh, devastating. Ouch. Right from within.

So then. What do I need to change? I had to open up to re-read it, and it's right there in the passage - 

The solution to being critical of others is authenticity.

Wait, what - authenticity? I was expecting to see kindness or repentance or something like that. I had to go back and read it a few times. "...playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face ..."

Hypocrisy is no light at all.

No performance parenting. No trying to be Such A Good Mom. I don't need to be the Holy Spirit in my kids' lives (or in anyone else's life). It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbour's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. 

To put it in that delicious Acadian phrase, I need to keep my own onions.