Never once did I ever walk alone -

Last night, we made our kids put on their boots and jackets and walk to the corner to watch the Santa Claus parade. After a week inside fighting the flu, they were pretty low on energy. Two of them gave up and walked home, and two stayed til the bitter end. (And it was bitter! The wind had bite.)

Near the end of the parade, a young mom with a teeny tiny baby joined us. "Better late than never," she laughed self-consciously.

And just - that little baby all bundled up, that young mama with her unzipped jacket and breathless evidence of hurrying - it took me right back to when Sam was a baby and I didn't yet know how to juggle my needs and his needs and if I showed up to anything at all I was usually late, underdressed, and flustered. 

I smiled at her and told her how cute her little baby was. "It's his first parade," she beamed, "he's three months old."  He was looking around so alert, so bright - the flashing lights and Christmas music a thing of wonder.

"Do you have your phone?" I asked her, "can I take a picture of you guys at his first parade for you?"

She directed me to take the phone out of her purse, and teared up a little bit. "His dad's at work, and I didn't want him to miss it," she said, "could you take a little video too, so he can see it? Thank you so so much!"

"Moms have to have each others backs," I laughed, "no problem."

And she told me how hard it was to be raising him away from her family, wishing she could be closer to her mom, especially during Christmas. And I told her I knew that feeling too, raising four kids with my own mom far away. 

And today I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about all the ways other moms have stepped in and had my back. I haven't had my own little mama, with her readiness to laugh and play and just relax into a moment - but I have not been momming alone.

All the women who showered me with gifts when Sam was born and we couldn't afford a thing. The neighbours who made birthday cakes and passed treats over the fence as they watched the kids grow. The playgroup moms who offered a breath of fresh air.  The ladies from church who brought meals for two weeks after the birth of each child. The dinner club moms who shared their stories and prayers, hopes and fears. The bus stop moms who shared a chat on both ends of the day. The Sunday School moms who took turns teaching the kids Bible stories and songs. Online moms who have cheered my kids on through the screen. The park moms who became friends. Neighbour moms who let the kids play together in fun backyards. The teachers and staff at school who loved my kids like their own. The beach moms who shared sunscreen and shovels and floaties. The friends-with-older-kids whose advice is worth its weight in rubies. The kidless friends who bent their schedules around our kids' bedtime routine to make game night happen.  

Never once did I ever walk alone. God sent me so many moms.

I have been loved and held by all the people who have had my back - who have cheered me on, laughed with me, passed me extra baby wipes when I didn't pack enough. 

And friends who have taken my picture when my hands were full of babies.

Thank you, friends - you are treasures, one and all.

Merry Christmas. xo.

(*I also need to say, Patrick is an incredible dad, and I have never felt like I am raising the kids alone. He is hands-on, patient, funny, and so so loving. He works hard all day at work and comes home and jumps right in. I could not ask for a better partner in all of this.)