i've been longing lately to do some great thing. to be used of God. to live a life that is more than just okay.
i want to live a full life, a poured-out life, a life that matters. i want to produce, not just consume. i want my days to count for something - not just be filled with ease or even toil. meaning. goodness. active blessing. i want the sum of my life to be greater than the number of my days.
a line from the story of naaman came to me today, when i was in the middle of mundanity and the boring, happy, busy things that come with being a mom.
naaman wanted to be cleansed from leprosy, and the prophet told him to dip 7 times in the river jordan. naaman was furious - he had expected a cool show, maybe some hocus pocus and flashing lights. dip in a stinky river? he stormed away in a huff. but his servant spoke gently to him.
'my father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it?'
the obvious answer being yes - of course he would. he brought wealth and letters to the king, ready to pay and pander for healing. but would he humble his pride and dip?
can i embrace my humble life, and die to self by changing diapers and wiping noses and washing dishes a hundred times a day?
and the answer, again, must be yes.
this is what He asks of me. in this life, right now, my tasks might seem mundane, and do not particularly taste of greatness. but this is where i am, and what i have to do.
i do it.
because if He told me to do some great thing, would i not do that?